Write Your Own Adventure

Here's my attempt at this experiment. It was a lot of fun, and hopefully the result isn't too confusing for anyone reading it. Enjoy!

You enter a dark maze. It’s part cornfield, part haunted house, part multi dimensional nightmare. Suddenly, 2 ghosts appear. One is an old woman who keeps smiling like she wants to taste your blood (if a ghost can do that). The other is a young girl who smiles sweetly at you. Both offer to lead you through the maze to freedom. Which do you choose?

The Old Woman, knowledge is power! – go to part 1

The Little Girl, she’s so cute! – go to part 2

Part 1

The old woman leads you through the maze. She looks like she knows where she’s going at least. Though the sneaky, malicious looks she keeps giving you are making your blood run cold. Maybe you made the wrong choice after all. Finally she stops and thanks you for choosing her as your guide in a voice like a creaky for. She offers you a key that she claims will help you find freedom. Do you take it or not?

Take the key – go to part 3

Don’t take the key – go to part 4

Part 2

The Little Girl skips ahead of you happily. Whenever you ask her where she’s taking you she just smiles and says to trust her. She’s adorable, but you’re not entirely sure she knows where she’s going. Finally she leads you to a trap door. The hinges creak as you open it. It’s so dark that you can’t see anything down there, but you swear you can hear groaning. Do you follow her into the trapdoor?

Yes! – go to part 5

No! – go to part 6

Part 3

She cackles happily as you accept her gift and leads you further into the maze. Finally, you come to a ladder. It’s not resting against any wall, but stands seemingly unsupported in thin air. It goes up so high that you can’t even see the top. She points at it and smiles in a way that you’re sure is supposed to be comforting. “Climb my dearie.” She says. “Up there is freedom. Do you climb?

Hell no – go to part 7

I’m not scared of heights! I’ll do it! – go to part 8

Part 4

Unfortunately you have angered the Old Woman Ghost. She flies into a murderous rage and kills you. Who knew a ghost could do that? What do you do?

I want to try again! – go to beginning of book

I’m pissed! – go to the comments section to yell at the author

Part 5

“I’m glad you trust me,” she says in a half singsong voice as she skips ahead of you. “No one ever has before.” This comment is both heart breaking and terrifying. Maybe more terrifying since you can’t see anything at all in the darkness. The Little Girl notices this and points to a candle that appears seemingly out of no where, floating in the dark a little too conveniently to be entirely trusted. Do you light it?

Yes, duh – go to section 9

No, I make it a rule to never trust floating candles – go to section 10

Part 6

“Ok,” she says, her lower lip trembling. “I thought you trusted me.” She sniffs sadly. “No one has ever trusted me before.” This is heartbreaking, but because your heart is made of stone, you decide to stand by your instincts and continue through the maze on your own (anything to avoid going down into that trapdoor). So you leave her crying and start wandering the halls of the maze. Suddenly a door appears in front of you. Luckily not a trapdoor this time, but still, a random floating door is suspicious to say the least. Do you knock?

Yes, what could go wrong? – go to section 11

No way. They obviously don’t want visitors anyway. – go to section 12

Part 7

The Old Woman flies into a murderous rage and kills you. She doesn’t like to have her orders questioned. What do you do? – no, sorry, never mind. You have no more options. You’re dead. Sorry.

Part 8

You climb, and climb, and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb, and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb, and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb, and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb, and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb, and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb and climb, and climb and climb and climb and climb

Finally, when you feel like it’d be easier to just let go and fall you make it to the top. You lay on your back breathing hard as the Old Woman laughs. In her day, apparently, kids didn’t get tired so easy. Probably because they didn’t play on their phones 24/7. You finally regain your breath enough to argue with her, but before you can get out a word, a demon appears out of nowhere, grabs the key and takes off with it. What do you do?

Chase him! – go to part 13

Let him have it, and good riddance – go to part 14

Part 9

You light the candle and finally get to see your surroundings. Unfortunately, it wasn’t soon enough to save you from the angry skeleton tiger that has been stalking you for the last ten minutes. He will eat well tonight. Can a skeleton tiger can consume food? It doesn’t matter. Either way, you’re dead. What do you do?

Debate whether or not a skeleton tiger can consume food – You’re going to his stomach either way, so why bother arguing?

Complain about the Little Ghost Girl! Why did she bring me down here anyway? – go to her page on Yelp to leave a review. You see thousands of negative reviews already there. Some memorable ones are “AHHHHHHH!!!!!!”, “I’m too young to die!!!”, and “The wait was long and the prices were way too high.”

Part 10

You decide not to light the candle. Unfortunately, without any light, you run headfirst into a wall and die of a particularly nasty concussion. Did your parents never teach you to walk with your arms out in front of you so you don’t run into things?

Part 11

You knock on the door, dreading whatever abomination of hell that will probably answer. Instead, an old man with sparkling eyes and a cheery voice opens the door. He invites you inside and feeds you a wonderful meal. Apparently, his children have been putting off coming to visit him and he’s lonely. He’s so glad to see another person that he offers you a magic key. He says that it will help you escape the maze.

What do you do?

Take it, obviously. Even if he’s lying or crazy, it would be mean to refuse – go to part 15

Refuse it – go to part 16

Part 12

The usually very nice man who lives behind the door was offended that you walked by without visiting. He kills you. Oh well, at least now you can get your revenge by haunting him for the rest of his life.

Part 13

You chase after the demon and tackle it. After a brief struggle, you emerge victorious! Who’s lazy now Old Lady Ghost? After you take another breather, a small demon appears and thanks you for killing the king demon. Apparently, he’d been a brutal dictator who had run the demon world with an iron fist. As a token of gratitude, he offers to lead you to the shortest way out. The Old Woman doesn’t trust him, and yes, he’s a demon, but he seems trustworthy. Right? What do you do?

Follow him. You took out the king demon pretty easily. Even if this guy is lying, you’ve got this – go to section 17

Politely decline. You can never trust demons – go to section 18

Part 14

The upside to not challenging a demon to a fight over a stupid key: not challenging a demon to a fight and possibly dying. The downside: the Old Woman won’t let you hear the end of it. Now your generation are pushovers as well as lazy.

Eventually she leads you to two pillars that each have a bottle of liquid on them. She says that one will kill you and the other will transport you to freedom. Both liquids look exactly the same, except one has a label that says, “Don’t drink me” and the other has the inscription “Please don’t drink me.” One has death and one has freedom. Which do you choose? No pressure.

“Please don’t drink me” obviously. The other one is just plain rude, bossing you around like that. At least this one had the decency to say please – go to part 19

“Don’t drink me” The ‘please’ seems suspicious. It’s probably a reverse psychology thing – go to part 20

Part 15

The man breaks into a smile when you accept his gift. “ I wish my kids were more like you.” He said patting you on the back. Then, he gives you a bag of cookies “for the journey,” he says and leads you toward another door in the back of his house.

“This is the door to freedom.” He said, smiling wisely. “And you know how to open it.”

 You take the key he just gave you, and insert it in the lock. The door opens, and you see blue sky and a beautifully normal world through it! The man hugs you, and sends you through the door calling after you, “enjoy the cookies!”

You won! Congratulations! Knocking on stranger’s doors and accepting their food is a good idea!

Part 16

He kills you. Apparently you remind him of his ungrateful, good-for-nothing children who never visit. Enjoy your death!

Part 17

The demon leads you to two pillars that each have a bottle of liquid on them. He says that one will kill you and the other will transport you to freedom. Both liquids look exactly the same, except one has a label that says, “Don’t drink me” and the other has the inscription “Please don’t drink me.” When you ask which is which, he only giggles uncontrollably. You ask the Old Woman Ghost, but she’s gone into a sullen silence ever since you chose to ignore her and follow the demon. You’re on your own. You turn back to the bottles. One has death and one has freedom. Which do you choose? No pressure.

“Don’t drink me” demons don’t seem the type to say please, so it’s suspicious that they start now. “Don’t drink me” is much clearer – go to section 21

“Please don’t drink me” obviously. “Don’t drink me” is a clearer warning, right? Or are you just making things up now? Be honest, it won “eeny, meeny, miny moe”, didn’t it? – go to section 22

Part 18

Maybe you can’t trust demons, but apparently you shouldn’t trust ghosts either. With the Old Woman as you guide you end up wandering through the maze until you die. Take comfort in the fact that the next person probably won’t find a way out either.

Part 19

You chose…..poorly. You watch as your hands slowly start turning into claws before you eyes. Your skin erupts into scales. As the last shred of your humanity flickers away, you realize that you’re turning into a demon. You realize with your new demon brain, that demons don’t care about being polite, so the word please was an obvious give away. You should have known better honestly. Enjoy being a demon!

Part 20

You chose……..wisely. Suddenly, you are transported in a flash of light. When you regain your vision, you’re standing in front of a door. The Old Woman claps inaudibly (she’s still mad at you after all). You suddenly remember the gift she gave you and pull out the key. It fits perfectly into the lock and you open the door. It opens into your room. The familiarity is perfect compared to the maze. You nod respectfully to the Old Woman and thank her for her services. Then, you slip into your room and shut the door behind you before she can get through. She was helpful and all, but you really don’t want her to be a regular part of your life.

Congrats! You won!

Part 21

You drink from the “don’t drink me” cup, which seems oddly counter intuitive. Suddenly, you are transported in a flash of light. When you regain your vision, you’re standing in front of a door. You chose the right bottle! You confidently walk toward the door and try to open it, but it’s locked. You turn to the Old Woman Ghost for help but she just crosses her arms and shakes her head, “You shouldn’t have lost the key.” She says. The gravity of your mistake comes crashing all around you like hail. Or is that actual hail? The weather is odd in the maze, yeah; I think that’s actual hail. Regardless, losing the key has grave consequences. You can spend the rest of your life pondering that as you waste away in front of the door, slowly losing your sanity.

Part 22

You drink from the “please don’t drink me cup” and the result is instantaneous. You feel your body turning into nothing. Before you can think to take your last breath you are a ghost. You try to feel your transparent chest, but there’s nothing to feel and your hands go through it. The Old Woman cackles, “Good! Now I’ll have some company!” And she leads you back into the maze, launching into another rant about your generation. Good luck! You’ll need it.

Character Bible

Andita Daji (she finally has a tentative name!!)

Nickname: Dita (or Andi?), Ghost

Origin of Nickname: Dita is the shortened version of her name. Ghost is a nickname given to her by some of her neighbors, based on her role as a ghostwriter.

Age: 30ish

Current Location: Verumir

Biological gender: female

Identifiable gender: female

Sexual Orientation: gay

Can she write well?: Yes, very well. It’s part of her job.

Can she read well?: Yes, (though not out loud. She doesn’t like speaking in front of lot’s of people)

Average, high, or poor intellect: She has a pretty high intellect when it comes to academics (other than science which she despises). However, she has almost no people skills or street smarts.

Broken the law: she breaks into a library and a house in the book so yes.

Education level: She’s quite highly educated (she has basically our equivalence of a masters in the history of the Trading Circle (which is a region of her world)).

Economic situation: pretty poor. Ghostwriters don’t make much money. Especially ones that don’t get along with anyone.

Current Occupation: at the beginning of the book she’s a historian who’s struggling to be taken seriously. She’s also a ghostwriter, which pays the bills.

Personality Type: (on Meyer-Briggs) INTP

Good at interacting in social situations: only with people she knows well and is confortable with. Otherwise she gets nervous which translates as rude and sarcastic.

Hobbies: Debating almost anything. It doesn’t matter if she knows anything about the subject. She’ll try to debate it anyway.

Easily Bored?: only in boring situations

Known Quirks: She has the tendency to cut corners when she feels that something is beneath her. She always needs to have the last word. She stubbornly doesn’t care about what most people find important (religion, gossip), but if she cares about you she’ll walk through hell for you.

Quiet or loud: usually pretty loud, except in very emotional situations where she tends to disappear.

Fears: Not ever doing anything that really matters in the world. Ending up alone. Revealing too much about herself.

Role in group: the annoying one who is constantly making sarcastic comments but who’s too good at their job to fire. Is that a role?

In group, would contribute: good ideas with some snarky comments on the side.

Good at cooperating: if she knows and likes you, yes, usually. If she doesn’t, no.

Kind of thinker: she likes to think she’s a realist, but she’s way too idealistic for that.

What annoys her?: people belittling/being threatened by intelligence. People who do things only for personal gain. People lying to her.

Reaction when annoyed: She will just become extra argumentative and sarcastic.

Easily angered? No

Reaction when angry: If you’ve done something bad enough to get her really mad at you, she’ll usually just ignore you.

Is she sad often? She’s not addressed, but she is often lonely.

Reaction when sad: to throw herself into work.

Strengths: writing, history, debating, setting her mind to do something and actually doing it.

Weaknesses: talking about her feelings, lying, opening up to people.

Self serving/self sacrificing: in the moment she’ll usually be more self-protecting, but once she’s had a chance to think, she’ll be more self-sacrificing (for her friends)

Dreamer/realist: more of a realist. (hope for the best, prepare for the worst)

Personality flaws: easily annoyed and takes it out on people. She’s not easy to get along with. She tends to be conceited when it comes to her work. She tends to make stupid decisions in the moment that she later regrets. She has a hard time letting people see her vulnerabilities.

How reliable is her memory: on historical stuff her memory is incredible. She’s not as good at remembering the practical stuff or details about people she doesn’t really care about.

Self-confident/self deprecating: self confident, but it’s most to cover up her insecurities.

Sense of humor: very snarky and sarcastic. She says that she only likes intelligent humor, but sometimes will laugh at stupid things too (she’ll then claim that it’s not funny).

Good at keeping secrets: sometimes. She’s not a good liar, but as long as the subject never comes up she won’t gossip about it to anyone.

Prone to gossip: no

Messy/neat handwriting: messy. Basically illegible.

Personal moral code: mostly to tell the truth. She hates people who lie or exaggerate to make themselves look better.

Religion: she’s not religious. Though she was raised in (a currently unnamed religion with many deities). That’s why she uses their names when she swears.

Political affiliation: she tends to try to stay out of politics that aren’t at least 100 years old.

Reputation among family: she’s the weird, bookish, who won’t get married and moved away to a big city.

Reputation among friends: she’s the stubborn one who won’t do anything unless she wants to, but she has a big heart under all the sarcasm and obscure history facts.

Skin color: black

Height: 5’ 4” (ish)

Right/left handed: left-handed

Body type: a little on the heavier side.

Eye color: dark brown

Hair color: black

Fashion: very simple and practical. She favors trousers over dresses (which luckily are becoming increasingly common)

Accent: she tries very hard to hide her country accent behind a more elite city accent. If you have a good ear you can hear it slip through sometimes though.

The Dangers of House Sitting

Author's Note: Here's the list Beth left the main character in case you're curious.

Thank you so much again for house sitting for me! It’s so hard finding someone to do it. Here’s a list of everything you need to do. Just give me a ring if you’re confused about anything at all! And I left a twenty in case you need to buy anything!

You’re sleeping in the guest room. I moved all the ghouls out from under the bed so you can get a good night’s sleep.

Always remember to say good morning and good night to the doorknob. Otherwise it will lock and won’t let you out. It’s so tempermental. But you only need to worry about the front door. The backdoor doesn’t care and the side door only speaks in Morse code.

Refill the pixies’ water once a day. Give them a couple teaspoons of the premade food (in the fridge) there should be enough to last the week.

DON’T OPEN THE TOP RIGHT CABINET DOOR

We have two ghosts. One is a civil war soldier (he won’t tell me his name). The other is my Aunt Trudy. The soldier isn’t much of a talker. Sometimes he’ll moan and scream at night, but don’t worry about that. It’s normal. DON’T TALK TO TRUDY. She will talk your ear off for hours.

The chimney has been howling recently. I have no idea why. I’m sure it’s fine but I wouldn’t stick your head in there just to be safe.

You can use the TV. Just don’t leave it on. It annoys the Mandrakes. Also channel 5 is haunted. And Fox News talks complete nonsense but I don’t think anything’s wrong with it. Ask Alex (the vampire in the hallway closet) for the remote. He’ll also help if it gives you any trouble.

Feed the banshee two cups of Elma’s All Purpose Magical Beast food a day. The cans are in the garage. There’s also a couple of steaks in the freezer is you want to treat her.

Water the mandrakes twice a day.

I have a potion brewing on the stove. Just leave it alone. Please don’t turn it off. It takes a year to make and I’ve had to start over five times!

If you forget the wifi password just ask the painting of the witches summoning the devil. They’ll tell you.

Don’t give Patrick any alcohol no matter what he tries to pay you. Trust me, the last thing you want is a drunk leprechaun

DON’T WAKE UP ANNIE

Make sure you don’t wait too long to feed everyone or they get a little rowdy.

Thanks again!

Beth 

And here's the actual story! Enjoy! 

It was supposed to be a boring summer. Most of my friends were going backpacking through Europe, but I was stuck housesitting for my neighbor, Beth. But at least the pay was decent.

 It was already dark and everyone was asleep when I got home the first night. Beth had fed them all before she left so I didn’t have to worry about it. I settled into the guestroom bed and sighed contentedly. It definitely wasn’t as exciting as Europe, but it was nice to relax a little after the chaos of the school year.

~      ~      ~  

I hadn’t set an alarm to wake me up. It was summer break and I thought I deserved to sleep to whatever hour I wanted. The house’s other occupants didn’t think so. I woke up to a symphony of assorted howls, moans, groans, and other noises I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe.

            “I’m coming!” I shouted as I rolled out of bed and made my way blinking to the door. Then I opened it and my jaw dropped almost down to my chest. The house looked like it had been ransacked by a horde of goblins, which was more than likely given who’s house it was.

            “That’s not good.” I said, staring as a swarm of pixies flew by, pulling a roll of toilet paper behind them.

            “You are so screwed.” commented the old man in the painting across the hall from me.

            His words flicked a switch in my brain and suddenly I could move again. I dashed to the kitchen and yanked the list my neighbor had left on the fridge, scattering magnets across the floor. The magnets all turned into beetles and scuttled away. I frantically scanned the list while mentally yelling at myself for not bothering to read it before I went to bed. Sure enough at the end it said “Make sure you don’t wait too long to feed everyone or they get a little rowdy.”

            I looked around me. They were more than a little rowdy.

            “Ok!” I shouted to be heard above the cacophony. “I’m going to take care of everyone. Just settle down for a moment.”

            “I’m gonna tell Beth you already ruined everything!” shouted a gleeful voice that came from above my head. Balanced on the ceiling fan was the leprechaun (Patrick according to the list). He had a bottle of wine in one hand and the house phone in the other.

            “Oh no you don’t!” I shouted as he cackled wickedly and started dialing. Before he could even get to the second digit the swarm of pixies flew by knocking him off. He fell into my arms with a terrified squeal. I relieved him of the phone and wine before he could recover.

            He bit my finger and ran away shouting insults. I quickly scanned the list, looking for instructions of what to do if the house broke into chaos. There were none.

I ran toward the hall closet. Based on the list Alex (the vampire) appeared to be the only other slightly responsible entity in the house. Even so, it seemed rude just to barge in so I knocked on the door. It opened a crack and a bored voice said,

            “What?”

            “I think I messed up.” I began, but he cut me off.

            “You think?” he said sarcastically. He punctuated the sentence with a popping noise. I didn’t want to know how he made it.

            “Yes, fine. I admit it. I need your help. Could you please do something?” I exclaimed, starting to get desperate.

            “Close the curtains.” he said.

            “What?” I definitely didn’t have time for this.

            “I’m a vampire for crying out loud!” he said. “I’m not good in daylight? Don’t they teach you this in school?” He made the popping noise again.

            “Oh right.” I said and dashed to the kitchen windows, dodging the toaster, which was shooting burnt raisins in all directions. Luckily the curtains were thick and hardly let in any light.

            “The curtains are closed!” I shouted as I ran back.

            The hallway door opened, revealing a much younger vampire than I’d imagined. He looked barely old enough to drive.

            “What are you looking at?” he said, aggressively chewing gum. He blew a condescending bubble in my direction. “So what do you need help with?”

            I stared at him for a moment. “Um this.” I said gesturing to the house. At that exact moment there was a minor explosion that made my point brilliantly.

            Alex rolled his eyes. “Amateur.” Then he raised his voice. “Shut up everyone!”

            It took a moment for my ears to adjust to the silence. I stared at him, shocked. “How did you do that?”

            He shrugged. “I don’t know. Now,” he handed me the mildly scorched list. “Don’t you have some stuff to do?”

            It took nearly an hour to feed everyone and two more after that to clean up their mess. I watered the mandrakes, groomed the bearskin rug, and had a serious heart-to-heart with the banshee. Alex supervised the entire time, making sarcastic comments and chewing gum loudly. I asked for a piece, but he refused to share.

When it was finally all done and the last beetle magnet was returned to the refrigerator, I slumped onto the couch exhausted.

            “I am not getting paid enough for this.” I said as he turned the TV on and flipped through channels.

            “Get used to it.” he said. “At least you didn’t you didn’t wake up Annie like the last house sitter.

            “Who’s Annie?” I asked.

            “You don’t want to know.” He said, popping a massive bubble. “Oh look! MythBusters is on!”

            My phone buzzed with a text from Beth.

            Hey dear! How are things going? It said.

            I bit my lip, wondering how exactly to answer that. After a moment I decided that there wasn’t any permanent damage and what Beth didn’t know wouldn’t kill her.

Everything’s going good here. Everyone misses you! I texted back.

Oh good! Just text me if you have any problems!

Will do. I wrote, deciding that she would never hear a word from me no matter what happened.

I sent the text and sighed contentedly and settled down to watch the Mythbusters blow stuff up.

It looked like I’d have an interesting summer after all. 

Here's the map of the world of my book (I posted chapter 1 yesterday). There's only one city named for now. The rest is coming soon (hopefully in the next millennium).